Can You Help Me Stop Being Arrogant?

July 30, 2012 in Creativity, Dreams, Life, Quick Reads with 17 Comments

Photo by DSkley (Creative Commons)

Life is full of unexpected challenges and an ever-growing to do list.

These will inevitably lead to frustration and irritation at some point.

I was there a few weeks ago.

A wise friend recently told me, “Give yourself some grace.”

As I thought about this, I realize how arrogant it is to claim to have all of the answers.

Or to continue to add to the to-do list and to not take anything off. That’s the same effect.

While I would not say this out loud, in my actions I often reflect this attitude : ”Do you have a task or project? Of course I can do it. Even if I only give it 20% of the time and attention the project deserves, I can do it. Yes, I’m that good.”

Terrible isn’t it.

But I know there is hope.

I have a feeling I am not alone in this struggle; that we can come together as a community.

There is ALWAYS hope.

Humility destroys arrogance.

So I humbly ask you, the reader, for your help.

Have you ever fallen into the “I can do it all” myth? What did you do to resolve this? Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

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Yvette Carol

I know exactly what you mean, Jim! Every time I think I know it all, life taps me on the head with a hammer. It’s almost like there’s a natural course correction that takes place every time I get my head too far above the sand, that life will send along lessons to knock me back onto my feet. Which is fine. I feel better when I know I have both feet planted on earth, rather than head sailing through the clouds. Then I feel ‘right’.
http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/ Tammy Helfrich

Right there with you. I’m learning to put things through a filter and learn how to say no, even to good things. It’s hard, but needed.
http://denisedilley.blogspot.com/ Denise Dilley

Yes, I’ve definitely struggled with this one! One thing that I really had to do was set boundaries, for myself and for others. And I had to start saying “no.” Oh, and I had to ask for help. I HATE asking for help. The truth is, we’re not made to do life alone & we’re not capable of doing everything on our own.

I love what you said – “there is always hope.” There is such truth in that statement.
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  Denise, I couldn’t agree more. If you are wise, you know you will need help at some point. Like you said, “we’re not made to do life alone.”
http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

Jim, just today I was re-working my “About me” page and remembered how at one point in life, it became hard to separate what I did with who i was. It wasn’t intentional of course but when we don’t have humility, God-sense and whole dose of maturity and wisdom, we burn up.
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  That’s a great point. So much easier to talk about these things than it is to actually do them isn’t it?!
http://twitter.com/Sophie_Novak Sophie Novak

This was a big problem for me. Not that I have resolved it, but small steps over time make a big difference. The practice of letting go once, twice, trice helps a big deal. My theory is that if you’re a person that wants to help, hates saying ‘no’ and has high expectations of himself, it’ll always be hard. Examining priorities whenever in doubt is what usually works for me and what someone previously said – having a fantastic partner is a tremendous asset.
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  That is very wise Sophie!! Examining priorities is definitely part of having a good filter in place. Your priorities, or things you deem most important should be what is left after you hold opportunities up to a filter. Thanks so much Sophie!
http://KatieAxelson.com/ Katie Axelson

I went through this a few weeks ago, Jim. I had done something stupid–it wasn’t even that big of a deal but it was wrong. I apologized to two different people and they both essentially said, “No big deal just don’t do it again.” They’d forgiven me. Yet still it was sitting on my chest weighing me down. I couldn’t move forward because I was afraid I’d mess up again. I had to take it to the Lord and ask Him to help me forgive myself. That sounded even more silly than the mistake in the first place but it was necessary.

Katie
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  That is wise Katie, not silly. It might sound and feel silly at first, but you are really smart because then you can move forward.
http://deuceology.wordpress.com Larry Carter

I’m one of those guys who always wants the ball on the goal line. If I don’t score, I beat myself up. I need the grace too. I’ll help, if you’ll help me.
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  I think it is easy to set too many high expectations on ourselves. I think that is definitely part of the problem.
http://profiles.google.com/andilit Andrea Cumbo

I fall into this all the time, Jim. A wise friend once told me, “Andi, you’re not indispensable.” A hard truth to take, but one I needed to hear. I’m learning to let go a bit, to trust that even if I don’t do things, things will get done. I don’t need to do it all, and I don’t like when I try.

Thanks for this reminder, Jim.
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  Ouch. Humbling, but true. Helps keep things in perspective doesn’t it! Thanks so much for sharing!!
http://chrystalmurphy.com/ Chrystal

You are not alone in this Jim. I’m right there with ya. I think this is one of those things you never really master. There’s a constant battle. Constantly saying “no”. Constantly reworking the to-do list. Constantly trying to remember to try to attempt to be humble. I think it’s a matter of recognizing the tendency to take on more than you can (or want to) do and then putting habits in place to help you manage it. Or a spouse that will say “you’re too busy for that” works great too.
- http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods
  
  I think you are on to something there Chrystal. Having a fantastic spouse obviously helps too. It is a constant battle, but I think there are ways to improve. I think a filter can help with this. Otherwise, it is easy to be constantly overwhelmed.