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I’m an Expert in Failure

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Photo by Hanz.Gerwitz (Creative Commons)

Today’s guest post is by Erik Fisher. He is a full time family man, a husband and father to two kids, social media manager for Indiana Wesleyan University by day, a podcaster on productivity by night. Check out the interviews he’s recorded here and follow him on Twitter @ErikJFisher

 

I like to reflect on life at birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. So when New Year’s comes around–naturally I make a few changes.

This year, I decided to get up early–at 5 AM everyday to work out, and to focus on my dream. Then I could rack up my ten thousand hours of expertise. I also shared a resolution with my wife to get up early to pray together and talk with each other before the kids wake up.

But I’ve failed all my new years resolutions this year.

My track record speaks for itself:
I’ve slept in. My wife has slept in. We’ve said to each other quite a few times “we forgot to pray this morning”.

I’ve even gotten up early—only to watch television instead of workout or do anything productive.

But I refuse to quit.

Each time I derail, I dig deeper and get back on track. Each time I fall down, I get back up.

It takes a minimum of 21 days to form a new habit. We’re about 70 days into the new year.

And I have failed—A LOT.

But every time I fall short, I learn more about myself, and revisit the desire for change.

“Bad habits are like a comfortable bed. Easy to get into but hard to get out of.”  - Anonymous

Do I really want change, or am I comfortable where I am?

Take a moment to think about where you are and where you want to be.

You know you want to change something.

Picture yourself as you finish writing your book.
Open a new business.
Dropping those extra pounds.
Or even just wake up early with coffee to finish reading a book.

What are you constantly reminded of that you need to change?
Now can you identify what is holding you back from doing it?

Face it down and fight the fear. Do it now. Keep getting up.

 

 

The Importance of Community

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Image courtesy of Sagebrush Photography (Creative Commons)

Today’s guest post is by Michelle Woodman. Michelle blogs at This Time Around, often about whatever is running through her brain at the moment. She lives in southern Alberta, Canada, with her husband Jeff, their cat, and numerous fish. You can follow her on Twitter and/or check out her Facebook page

I hit a tough spot this past November – think Wil E. Coyote and the edge of a cliff – with the whole “writing thing”. It wasn’t great timing as I was in the midst of NaNoWriMo, was still updating my blog regularly, and had begun the previous month the work of framing a book idea. Shoot, I had even declared (after much wrestling) I was a bona-fide writer.

But all that busyness, all those confessions did not silence the questions of what I should write, if I should be writing at all, and what it was God wanted me to write. All those have been Day One questions for me, but last November in particular, those doubtful words were bruising my heart.

I seriously considered calling it quits in hopes of having a respite. I could pack up my notebooks, delete my collection of Word documents, and pack up all writing-related material and find something else to do. Like knitting. Or becoming a professional surfer of the World Wide Web.

Before I made any such decisions, however, I decided to share my doubts and fears with an online writing community I am a part of, a place where I knew I could safely lay down at least some of my burden. And what I received from this group of writers was what I needed the most: The listening ears of people who had been or currently were in the same storm-tossed boat I found myself in.

And listen they did, along with offering encouragement and virtual hugs with assurances I was not alone.

For as solitary of an act as writing can be (and must be to a degree), being a part of a community of writers is an important and necessary thing.  The community at Writers Unite helped me see I was not alone, I was not a failure, and that I could slog through this self-doubt and start stringing words together once again.

Sometimes the best thing, the most encouraging thing, is to simply know you are not alone.

 

 

The Cure for Indifference

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photo by Moriza (Creative Commons)

Today’s post is by my friend Jeremy Statton. Jeremy is an orthopedic surgeon and a writer. He blogs about Living Better Stories. You can follow him on Twitter or download a free copy of his eBook Grace Is

Do you love the work you do?

What happens when you don’t do the work? What do you feel?

We typically describe how we feel about our work in terms of love and hate. There is always an annoying person who absolutely loves what they do. And there is always a person that can’t stand what they do.

Most of us stand somewhere in between neither loving nor hating our work or our lives.

But hate isn’t necessarily the opposite of love. Just because you don’t hate something doesn’t mean you love it.

The Opposite of Love

In his timeless work, The War of Art, Steven Pressfield describes the antithesis to love in this way.

“The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”

Apathy, Aloofness. Nothingness.

When we pursue any type of work worth doing we meet Resistance. The more we love the work, the more Resistance we meet.

When we love the work we encounter obstacles and trials and difficulties. Sometimes the work is so important, the Resistance fights us hard and it feels impossible.

All because we love it.

But if we don’t love it, we eel something worse than hate. We feel indifferent.

Everyday Indifference

When we love, we act. We do stuff. But when we are indifferent, we do nothing.

  • If we see someone in need, we don’t cross the street to help.
  • If we have an thought or idea that is important, we turn on the television and numb ourselves..
  • If we encounter the opportunity to do more, we procrastinate, waiting until it is too late.
  • If we feel the call to live a better story, we silence the voices and continue on in our normal, everyday story.


It would be better to hate than to be indifferent. People who hate, do stuff. They write about what they hate. They criticize and demean. They destroy. But they do something.

Indifference always leads to nothing.

The Cure

The cure for indifference is simple. Start doing. Act. Begin.

  • If your job is to write, then sit down and write.
  • If your job is to help, then cross the street and feed someone.
  • If your job is to love, then show them by doing..


If you find yourself in this scariest of modes of living, then the only thing you can do get out of it, and to start caring, is to do.

 

Change is Scary

 

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Photo by Macattck (Creative Commons)

Today’s guest post is by Alene Snodgrass. Alene speaks, writes, and blogs about seeking, searching, and serving to find your purpose. While she loves the inner city, you can find her on her blog Positively Alene, Twitter @alenesnodgrass or facebook.com/alenesnodgrass.

When I said changes were coming, I meant it! But now fear is staring me in the face.

Sometimes you have to put yourself out there and have that accountability of others to push you forward. Especially when your move requires change. I haven’t met a person yet who thrived off change, and I’m certainly not one of them.

Three reasons change is scary!

1. It means you are stepping away from the crowd.

Think of the way you are living right now. You have a certain way of speaking and living. Basically, you’ve got your routine down and their are certain people who fit in with that routine. But what happens when you change that routine of speaking or living up? You soon find yourself inching yourself away from that crowd of people.

2. It means you don’t know what’s ahead.

Maybe you have a stirring to change something up, but you’re procrastinating. Your holding off because the familiarity of your comfort zone is just too cozy. You know the minute you commit to change, the steps ahead become fuzzy and the future seems unknown. Even baby steps seems monumental.

3. It means you might fail.

Every time I think of change, I remember the old Brady Bunch show when Peter has to do some changing. Here’s the video link. But instead of opting out and quitting, he rearranges and succeeds. Yes, it’s scary to fail! But learn to think more of the new opportunities and way you can rearrange for success.

Are you looking to make some scary changes?

What is holding you back? Don’t let those things stop you. Let the fear propel you.

From the lyrics of Time to Change

If you wanna reach your destiny, here’s what you’ve got to do: When it’s time to change, then its time to change. Don’t fight the tide, come along for the ride, don’t you see. When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange who you are into what you’re gonna be.

Taking scary steps here. Rearranging for some changing.

Don’t fight the tide, come along for the ride.

Care to join me?

 

Telling My Real Life I Blog

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Photo by A Florian (Creative Commons)

Today’s guest post is by Chris Morris. He is a CPA by day, a blogger by night, and a happily married father of 4 all the time. He writes about how faith and real life can collide in the brokenness of life, while still holding on to hope. You can read his blog here or follow him on Twitter @sometimeshope

I have been blogging for three months now, and discovered writing is part of who I am. It helps me process my life, confront my fears, and work through my faith struggles.

I am a private person, but less so in writing. Often my blog readers know more about the emotions and insecurities in my life than my co-workers and friends. On occasion, even my wife learns something about me by reading my blog. This is why telling my ‘real life’ I blog can be so worrisome for me.

It doesn’t matter whether I want to tell one of my closest friends or a new business acquaintance.

The fears are the same:

Should I worry if they think less of me or differently about me once they read my blog?

What if they don’t like my writing?

What if I offend them?

All of these questions and more thrust themselves into my psyche whenever I consider telling anyone I blog now. Every time I face these fears and decide what to do. Some days, I decide to give in to my fears and say nothing.

But many days I choose to share with the world this new part of me. As I step into this, I find a courage that says, “If you don’t like my voice, that’s okay. I am writing out of my experience. I am writing from my heart and with my creative spirit. There is power that comes in writing from this place.”

 

Do you tell others in ‘real life’ you blog? Why or why not?

The Cure for Lazy Butt Syndrome

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Photo by susivinh (Creative Commons)

Today’s guest post is from Jamie Kocur. Jamie is a writer, musician, and encourager. She is one of the most authentic, kind, and funny person you will ever meet. You can read her blog here and connect with her on Twitter @jamiekocur

I want to sing. I want to write songs. I really do. It’s this deep-seated desire that eats away at my very core. But sometimes my core doesn’t adequately communicate that desire to my lazy butt.

It’s hard to get motivated to get off the sofa and really work on these desires. Getting caught up in day-to-day life sucks a lot out of me, and often leaves me with no inspiration to work on my dream.

Sometimes I need some motivation.

Recently, my husband and I were enjoying a Saturday at home, cleaning house and mowing the lawn. In an effort to clean out our DVR, my husband turned on a concert that we had recorded months ago for some background music. As I washed dishes and cycled laundry, I hummed along to some of my favorite melodies. And every time I walked by the TV, I’d stop and watch.

Their enthusiasm was contagious. The passion with which they approached their music rubbed off on me.

Suddenly, I had an urge to pick up my guitar again.

I always forget how something as simple as listening to music gets me in the mood to write music. Some days I need that little push forward to get me going.

If you’re a writer, you may want to read other writing.

If you’re a photographer, you may want to look at photographs.

If you’re a small business owner of a non-profit, you may want to read some inspiring stories of other non-profits.

 

What are some ways that motivate you to work on your dream?

The Power of Encouragement

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Today’s guest post is by Tim Gallen. Tim is a writer, truth-seeker, and friend who inspires me daily at his blog Daily Gallen. You can also follow him on Twitter here @tim_gallen.

“Every dreamer hits the wall. Every dreamer needs encouragement.” -Christine Niles

In the waning days of National Novel Writing Month this past November, I found myself behind. Way behind.
Things had started out so well. The first few days I blew by my word quotas. But then – as it’s want to do – life got in the way.
I fell behind.
With five days to go, I found myself 24,000 words away from the challenge’s 50,000-word mark.
With friends and family constantly cheering me on – and with an amazing intensity and focus I’ve rarely mustered in my life – I came roaring back.
And I finished.
I wrote 24,000 words in five days to complete the novel-writing challenge.
Reflecting on what I accomplished that last week in November, my mind always returns to the encouragement I received as the clock was winding down.
I am 100 percent certain that, had it not been for all the amazing encouragement I received, I would have come up short during NaNoWriMo.
Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
It may sound simple, even overly cheesy, but encouragement can have a powerful impact. Not just on the person you encourage, but yourself, as well.
You see, encouragement is kind of like a virus. It spreads. Like other positive energies, encouragement is contagious.
When people were rooting for me and cheering me on during November’s novel challenge, I found myself paying it forward (or back) by encouraging others in their pursuits.
And it felt good. It felt right.
Because we are made for encouragement – both to receive and to give.
Encouragement allows us to perform the (seemingly) impossible. Personal trainers and other fitness-minded folks understand this.
Ever been in a workout or a fitness class and had the instructor, trainer, or a friend keep pushing you? One more! Only one more! OK, just one more! Before long, you’ve pushed out another three reps.
All thanks to the power of encouragement.
I believe encouragement is one way God reminds us that He loves us. And it is also one way we can reflect to the world God’s love that is within us.
Giving encouragement breaks down any preconceived or negative notions.
One of the most debilitating exercises I – and other dreamers – perform is to compare myself to others. When this happens, I fall into fits of jealousy, disillusionment, and hopelessness. All that can lead to an abandonment of one’s dreams.
But when we encourage others in their dreams and pursuits, that anxious desire to compare ourselves to them eases.

When we encourage others, we suddenly become invested in their dreams. Instead of wanting to compare ourselves to them, we want to join them. We begin to see their dreams as an extension of our own. In truth, more than an extension. By encouraging fellow dreamers, we begin to see that all dreams are really connected.

Everyone has a dream. And the world needs everyone to pursue them.

If you are pursuing your dream and have hit a wall, or if you hear that call deep within and are looking to begin pursuit, I encourage you: Keep at it; go for it.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in.

The world’s counting on you.

When It All Doesn’t Fit: A Guest Post By Anne Bogel

Photo By Anne Bogel

Photo By Anne Bogel

Today’s guest post is by my friend Anne Bogel. Anne loves strong coffee, long books, alt country, and big ideas. She puts a timely spin on timeless women’s issues at her blog Modern Mrs Darcy. She’s the author of Work Shift: How to Create a Better Blend of Work, Life, and Family.

I’m a wife. I’m a mom to four. I’m a homeschooler. I’m a paralegal.

I’m a writer.

And there are not enough hours in the day to cram in all the things I love to do–and the things I need to do.

I am constantly juggling/struggling/renegotiating my schedule to make things work. To make it all fit. And in this season, it just doesn’t.

And so I prioritize, adjust, tweak, shift, and start over again. I try new strategies and look for ways to shave minutes off my daily tasks. I tell my kids to wear those jeans just one more time before they throw them in the laundry pile.

It still doesn’t fit.

I’m fitting my writing into  the cracks of life, and while I’ve carved out quite a few cracks they are not the wide-open spaces I yearn for.

And yet.

There is blessing in the tension. There are advantages to not having “enough” time. Because when it doesn’t all fit, something has to give. And when something has to give, it’s not going to be the most important thing.

The tension keeps me focused and nimble; it keeps me sharp and strong. There’s an advantage, I’ve found, to constantly reevaluating: these things that fight for space in my life, they have to earn their keep. There’s no room for junk. There can’t be.

One day, maybe I’ll have to find the blessing of wide open spaces.

But for now, I’m thankful for the blessing of the tension.

My NaNoWriMo Failure Led To Success

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Photo Courtesy of Kassie Rutherford

Today’s guest post is by Kassie Rutherford. Kassie is a writer currently living in the NYC metro with no pets or people, but with a raging caffeine addiction and a perpetual case of public transportation-induced motion sickness. She writes at KassieRutherford.com, and at any coffee shop with an empty table next to a power outlet. Follow her on twitter at @kassiesaidwhat.”

Since the tender age of 16 (of which I am all of 6 years past), I have had glorious aspirations on November 1.

National Novel Writing Month.

50,000 words. 30 days. 1,667 words a day.

And every year, on November 2, I am sent hurling off the creative cliff with a blast of clean, fresh reality. Be it in the form of ballet rehearsals (did you know you can’t write a novel while in the middle of producing a 3-act classical ballet?), finals (or passing a 18.5 credit semester?), or H1N1 (true story, bro), I have never once met the 50k goal. Not a single time.

But THIS year. This year would be different. This year would be the year that I sail through my word-count goal with rainbows and unicorns and butterflies. I would then proceed to sell my novel by March, wallow in the proceeding wealth, and ride off in the sunset with my husband, Adam Levine, who obviously has a thing for 5’2 Catholic suspense authors who blog about feminism and theology and nervous breakdowns in super markets.

I planned. I plotted. I tearfully blogged about my commitment to succeed while reeling from the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy. (Because who picked the perfect time to move to New Jersey? This girl.)

And do you know what happened?

I failed. Miserably. I may have written 1667 words a week. But for the first time in my life, I’m okay with that. Because I learned something about myself. I need plot. I need direction. I need structure. The frenetic write-write-write of NaNoWriMo sends me into anxiety-induced hives.

That’s not an excuse to forego discipline in favor of a few extra hours of sleep a week. That’s learning how I work as a writer. I have a clearer plan of what I need to succeed at my dream while hanging on to a day job that I love. And NaNoWriMo just isn’t it.

So if you succeeded this November? Congratulations! If you’re a drop-out like me? Find a system that works for you, and don’t be discouraged.

(And Adam, you’re totally invited to my novel launch party. You’ll still be taller than me when I’m in heels, which is more than can be said for your supermodel ex-girlfriend.)

 

 

2013: The One Resolution Year

Photo by ladytimeless (Creative Commons)

Today’s guest post is by artist Holly Frees. She’s a blogger, photographer and Hanson fanatic who drinks copious amounts of coffee, frequents concerts, road-trips as often as possible and excels at staring contests. You can connect with her on Twitter @hfrees or on her blog here.

New Year’s Resolutions. We’ve all made them; we’ve all broken them.  I know the biggest road block for me to actually keeping them boils down to one thing: excuses.

So I hereby present to you, the following:

2013: The One Resolution Year. Or, 2013: No Excuses Year.

But I know what will happen. I’ll start making excuses for why I’m making excuses.

“Why didn’t you work on your craft today?”

“Because I didn’t have time.”

“That’s an excuse, I thought you weren’t going to have excuses this year.”

“Yeah, but you see…”

And so the cycle will continue.

Let’s be real. There will be days we don’t have time. There will be days we don’t have energy. There will be days we don’t have ideas. And that’s okay. But what if we just called it what it is, rather than placing blame elsewhere (which is what makes it an excuse). In the above example, “time” is at fault. We all know time doesn’t do anything except move forward second by second.

Instead, this year I want my conversations (mostly with myself) to look more like this:

“Why didn’t you work on your craft today?”

“Because I spent my time catching up on The Bachelor*” Or “Because I spent my money on fancy lattes instead of craft supplies.”

Maybe if I get rid of my excuses and instead acknowledge what my true reasons are for not pursuing my dreams, I will begin to shed light on the things that are taking my resources away from my passions. How will that change the decisions I start to make? Maybe I will start to notice the patterns, and start choosing my craft over my coffee or Hulu queue.

Will you join me? What is a REAL excuse that stops your dream from moving forward?

 

*Guilty pleasure. But I loved Sean, so I’m excited for the new season.

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