Overcoming My Fear of Guest Posting

Photo by Flickr (Creative Commons)

 

Today’s guest post is from Melissa Titus. Melissa is a wife, blogger, marriage ministry leader, and dark chocolate consumer. She is releasing a group devotional study for women called ‘Losing It’ this fall. Connect with her on Twitter @meltitus or visit her blog here

I copied and pasted. I hit send. Why didn’t I just hit save draft? My first guest post submission was on its way to one of my favorite bloggers and I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I felt foolish. What was I thinking? It was too late to take my submission back.

My mind raced as I began to consider all the “what if’s”.

What if my post isn’t funny enough?

What if my writing is not as good as I think it is?

What if my post gets lost in a sea of other submissions?

What if they say “No”?

My fear of writing rejection began in high school.  My AP English teacher had space for two more students to enter the Ready Writing contest. My hand shot up immediately. Finally, my chance to showcase my writing prowess!  She looked right over my shoulder and said, “How about Molly and Sarah?” My heart sank. Two of my best friends were chosen and I was not.  For the rest of the year, I kept my hand down. I gave up.

Yet part of me held onto my love of writing. 

Fast forward to a few months ago when I took the plunge and decided to write a blog. The great thing about writing your own blog is there is no rejection. All the good books say you have to start guest posting if you want readers.

No big deal, right? Pour your heart out on paper, edit and edit and edit some more, then hit send. Your post arrives in the inbox of a popular writer or blogger who has no idea who you are. It might get lost in their spam folder or their secretary might nix the idea before it even gets to them. Even if you do know them personally, they might not choose your piece. Then the waiting game. Your post is rejected or you never hear anything at all. Time to start all over again.

Is it all worth it?

Absolutely.

The only way we will ever be chosen is to keep staring rejection in the face and refuse to give up.

The fear in my mind is always worse than the actual fear itself. I know I will face rejection as a writer, but I also know I fail every single time if I don’t try.

 

What is a fear you have overcome?

 

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    Great Post Mellisa!

    I had held off guest-posting for long – until about two weeks ago! It was so awesome, reading my work in another person’s blog. The host was so gracious and the community encouraging. I kept asking my self, why didn’t i start sooner?!

    No, I have a small goal to guest post atleast twice a month.

    I totally agree with this statement -  ‘i know i fail every single time i don’t try’

    • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

       Glad you enjoyed it, Ngina! It really is an awesome experience! I like that you have set a reasonable goal.

  • http://dailygallen.com/ tim gallen

    as always, my new friend jim hands his platform to another fantastic voice!
    i can totally relate to being in constant fear of rejection. i just started blogging last month and want to get into guest posting, too, but find it kind of intimidating pitching to people i don’t know. thanks for sharing this, melissa. i totally just followed you on twitter after reading it. :-)

    • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

      Jim is a great teacher! Thank you for the follow, Tim. Jim suggests having a connection with someone before submitting a guest post and I agree. It’s all about making connections (which is the best part!). 

      • http://dailygallen.com/ tim gallen

        you are so right, melissa. i thought about this the other day and how the past month i have connected with so many amazing people through blogging and twitter, including jim. the new connections and friendships are definitely the best part! you’re welcome for the follow. thanks for the follow back. :-)

  • http://KatieAxelson.com/ Katie Axelson

    Thank you for your honesty, Melissa! I have a huge fear of rejection too.

    Katie

    • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

       You are welcome! Hopefully it will encourage others to just go for it. When rejected I tend to take it personally, as if they are rejecting me or my writing. Sometimes it’s just not the right post or right timing.

      • http://KatieAxelson.com/ Katie Axelson

        But that’s so hard to remember when you’ve got three emails saying no… :)

        Katie

        • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

           You are right Katie, it is hard, but it’s worth it. Even if you get rejected, you are getting your story out there. It just takes getting it to the right person, which can be tough. Keep doing what you are doing Katie! I have read your blog. You have great stories to tell! Keep telling them!

          • http://KatieAxelson.com/ Katie Axelson

            Thanks, Melissa. I really appreciate it.

  • http://twitter.com/Prathiiiii Prathipa

    good one!!! :)

    • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

       Thank you, I appreciate the three exclamation points! :)

  • http://www.theycallmekeeks.com/ Kristen Keyser

    Thank you for writing this! Jim has been speaking into my life on this very matter of guest posting. I just need to do it! Face the fear directly and write!

    • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

       You are welcome! Go for it Kristen! The only way to overcome the fear is to face it. Most “big” bloggers are much more accessible than the picture we have in our heads.

  • http://twitter.com/AdventureCarrie Carrie Starr

    Melissa, I can so relate to this.  Thank you for your honestly and vulnerability.  You are a wonderful writer.  So glad to have found you!  

    • http://twitter.com/meltitus Melissa Titus

       Thanks for the compliment, Carrie! I’m glad we connected. We all have the fear of being told “no”. We have to just go for it and be willing to face rejection. The ability to say “no” gives someone power, but that doesn’t mean we have to be intimidated by it.