Today’s guest post is by Ngina Otiende. Ngina is a writer, avid reader and recovering last-born. She is currently rebuilding a consulting business from scratch after moving 8,000 miles across the globe. She loves herbal teas, laughter and helping others take charge of their lives. You can find her on twitter @nginaotiende or her blog.
I remember this season of my life as if it was yesterday.
I was in my early twenties, just moved out of my sister’s house and into my own little place.
I was flat broke, barely able to pay the rent, buy food and have money for transport to and from work and other living expenses.
But broke became the least of my problems at some point.
Torment, fear and shame tipped the scale.
The following conversations in my mind were as real as the person seated next to me on the bus ride to work:
“What are you going to do now? You are going down! Look at you, trusted God for a breakthrough and here you are, can hardly hold your life together!”
I was unraveling inside.
But then I had a revelation from God.
I needed to face the problem behind my problem.
True, I was flat broke and my life was out of line.
But my main problem was the fear and shame that were keeping me from taking the necessary steps to sort the problem. I was afraid of moving back to my sister’s house – to me that screamed failure and weak faith. Moving to my own place had signified putting some distance between me and lack – I thought I’d die before before making a step backward.
The real issue was my attitude.
I needed to get over myself and do the right thing.
Pause, regroup and map the next step.
Sometimes the real problems are not physical ones.
They are usually the ones buried deep within our heads and hearts.
It is easier to change the outer circumstances than to change inner self; so most of us try to work on the outer circumstances.
And then wonder why we keep having the same problems and repeat responses.
To really change your life, to find the success you desire, get honest with yourself. The roadblocks in your path may take a different look once you put on new clearer glasses. Clearer glasses that come from facing your inner man, inner fears, questions and anxieties. As you quieten down, cease endless run-arounds and blame games, you will be surprised at how easy and effortless some decisions really are.
Has this been your experience? How did you overcome?