Writers Envy and What To Do About It

October 17, 2012 in Creativity, Dig Deeper, Life with 45 Comments

Photo by Luke Saagi (Creative Commons)

As a writer, I want to compare myself to others. I read the work of others and sometimes, maybe, get jealous. Not just a little, but A LOT.

Stephen King.
Ernest Hemingway.
Edgar Allan Poe.
Jeremy Statton.
Elizabeth Hyndman.
Max Dubinsky.
Jon Acuff.
William Gay.
Andi Cumbo.
Todd Foley.

And that’s just who I wish I could write like today. The list goes on and on. If I’ve read your work, you probably are on this list as well.

The only way I can keep my envy in check is to promote other writers. I am actually friends with most of the folks on that list. (Stephen, please call me back.) Since they are my friends, I know more about them than just the writing. Each writer faces many of the same challenges I do: parenting, fatigue, keeping the house clean, a day job, car issues, computer problems, and much more.

A friend once said, “Don’t compare your beginning to someone’s middle or end.”

That statement is jam-packed full of truth. It’s easy to look at someone’s polished work that they spent hours, days, weeks, months, even years on and not realize how long it took them to arrive at the final product.

I choose not to be filled with envy when instead I can be filled with joy.

I refuse to view each other as competitors when we actually support each other. Writers read. I read your work and hopefully, you will read mine at some point.

 

Have you felt this writer’s envy? What do you do about it?

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  • http://thejoshcollins.com/ Josh Collins

    I love this. So true. There is not a person on the planet who doesn’t have slay this dragon in some form or fashion. Thanks Jim!

    • admin

      So glad you enjoyed this Josh! I agree. It’s unavoidable!!

  • Samantha Anderson

    Perseverance. That is what envy always does to me. I get into my own little wallow session occasionally, comparing myself to other writers but at the end of the day, I just want to write, so that’s what I will continue doing regardless. Great post!

  • http://gabrielgadfly.com Gabriel Gadfly

    I think there’s two ways to respond to writer’s envy: you either get discouraged because these other people are doing amazing things, or you get fired up and decide to do better things than they did. There are things to learn from reading every good writer’s work, and that includes learning what they did right and learning what they did wrong.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Makes sense to me Gabriel. I think part of it is being comfortable in your own skin too. And not many folks have that mastered. Heck, if even if you feel secure one minute, you might not the next.

      • http://gabrielgadfly.com Gabriel Gadfly

        That’s true. But every time you push through that insecurity and accomplish something, you get another pebble to add to the pile of things you’ve succeeded at. And then, when those insecurities crop up again, you can look back and see how big your pile has grown, and say, “Hey, if I pulled all that off, then I can do this too.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/yvette.carol Yvette Carol

    I feel this way all the time. To a writer, there’s probably nothing more admirable than an exquisitely-turned phrase. One of my writing teachers said that good writing should be a window & a mirror, a way for the reader to view the world through your eyes, and also, importantly should be a way for the reader to see themselves, in a new way.

  • http://snapshotofthewhole.wordpress.com/ Pamela Williamson

    Love this…..”A friend once said, “Don’t compare your beginning to someone’s middle or end.” How true! When I read the writings of someone who I wish I could write like, I use the longing as a springboard to just keep writing, keep honing, and read ALOT. I know it sounds simple and rehearsed, but really, there is no other way. I just keep telling myself, “Someday, just hang in there.” :)

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      So glad you enjoyed this Pamela!! Absolutely hang in there and KEEP WRITING!!

  • http://www.life-edited.com/ Amanda Williams

    Agreed. Thanks for the well-timed reminder.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Thanks so much Amanda! Really appreciate it. Ya know, you are a double threat for me because I wish I could take pictures like you and write like you! Ha :)

  • http://twitter.com/missionsgirl susie finney

    Good one Jim!

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Thanks so much Susie. I really appreciate it!

  • http://twitter.com/elramey debra elramey

    Not so much in how they write, but in how successful they are – and so many never had to build a platform to get there! Go figure.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      You know Debra, I think that thought could be a bit misleading. I’m sure there is more to the story than we see.

  • http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/ Tammy Helfrich

    Someone once said “comparison is the thief of joy” or something like that. I choose to be inspired by others and not compare myself to them. God wants to use me, uniquely. Trying to be like someone else is trying to take control of something that is not mine. Thanks for the reminder!

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Thanks so much Tammy! You do a fantastic job of lifting others up as well!!

  • http://twitter.com/tdiddy1234 Todd Foley

    “Don’t compare your beginning to someone’s middle or end.” Ain’t THAT the truth! When I look at a polished piece of work, I often think, wow, that looks so effortless, it probably took the writer about a minute to write that. Then I have to slap myself. :) As Nathaniel Hawthorne once said, “Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      That’s a great Hawthorne quote there. Such a fantastic point!!!

  • http://randomlychad.com Chad Jones

    Choosing joy–I like that. Because so very much of life is volitional–I mean most of it, right?
    So I can choose self-pity (which I have done many, many times), or I can choose to celebrate others, and get to work.

    Self-pity, unchecked, leads to envy, and:

    Envy is a thief–a thief that steals energy, kills motivation, and destroys the community that is oh-so-important in the writing life.

    Thanks, Jim, for this–it’s a kick in the pants. A kick in the “write” direction.

    I’m choosing joy today.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      You bet Chad. It’s a terrible slippery slope. It only leads toward becoming an angry, bitter person that no one wants to be around.

      NOW YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!

      • http://www.life-edited.com/ Amanda Williams

        Haaaaa. This and the parenthetical in the post made me laugh.

        • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

          haha thanks. Me too. I laugh at myself more than I’d like to admit :)

  • http://twitter.com/Sophie_Novak Sophie Novak

    Absolutely true! I try to learn from these guys and the feeling of intimidation is automatically replaced with an inspiration for self-improvement. Comparison to others never brings any good, in writing, as in everything else.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      For a brief period, (ironically after getting a post rejected by Jon Acuff, haha) I thought I was much better than Jon as a writer. I was angry at his success. I was a bitter, cranky bear honestly. But then I put down the hatchet and realized that none of this actually had anything to do with Jon.

      It was all in my attitude. Then I met Jon and actually started talking with him. He is the SAME as me just a bit further down the road than I am. It was amazing to process and see firsthand.

      • http://twitter.com/Sophie_Novak Sophie Novak

        I admire your honesty Jim!

  • http://www.ordinaryservant.com/ Pilar Arsenec

    I struggle with comparing myself to others and always think others are better than me. I actually feel more comfortable promoting other people’s writing, because I truly believe deep down everyone else writes better than I do. Sometimes when I read a book by a classic author, I put the book down and ask myself, man, how did they get to be so good? I then say I wish I could write that good too. But what I realize is that these great writers, these talented, gifted, beautiful writers with best seller’s and nobel peace prizes, practiced, practiced and practiced. All their time was devoted to writing, they made sacrifices to become great writers. Some even went to Ivy League colleges and hold two masters, now if you want to know what I admire (and wish I had done the same), is those writers who went to great colleges and earned themselves Masters and are successful. I guess I compare myself to them, because I say, how in the world could I ever measure up to that?

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Remember this too Pilar-you don’t know how many years of work it took for them to get to that level. They say 10,000 hours is required to be an “expert”. I don’t think that even scratches the surface in writing honestly. I bet its more like double or triple that. And even then, what some may love others may not like at all. And that’s completely okay. I guess all this to say, keep doing what you are doing friend. You are on the right track–keep writing!!!

      • http://www.ordinaryservant.com/ Pilar Arsenec

        Thank you, Jim. You too, keep going my friend. :)

  • http://dailygallen.com/ tim gallen

    this post sounds like a few phone conversations we’ve had. have i ever felt the writer’s envy? any writer who says he or she hasn’t is either lying or delusional. i try to do the same thing you do, jim: celebrate and choose encouragement and support for my fellow writers. i tend to feel a lot better about myself and feel more motivated to continue working on my own words when i do so.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      For sure Tim! All of us feel this tension. I think helping each other out and lifting each other up also promotes community.

  • http://jeremystatton.com/ Jeremy Statton

    I like how you point out that our own joy is something we choose, not something that just happens.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      It really is a choice. And it effects EVERYTHING. Thanks so much for all you do Jeremy. You inspire me all the time.

      • http://jeremystatton.com/ Jeremy Statton

        You’re nuts. I think it’s a good nuts, though.

  • http://edhyndman.com Elizabeth Hyndman

    I love what you said about supporting and promoting others as a way to avoid envy. I think that’s true in more than just writing! I also think twitter helps with this. We feel like we’re friends with people we’ve never actually met, which makes us want to support them instead of be jealous of them.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Thanks, I couldn’t agree more. Can you imagine how much better life would be if we just lifted each other up more? From politics to grocery shopping, things would have to change.

      So yes, I’m saying person behind me at the checkout, you SHOULD buy me some cookies. :) haha

  • http://KatieAxelson.com/ Katie Axelson

    I love it. I’m trying to celebrate with writer-friends as they get ship, get published, etc. rather than be jealous. Tell our friend Ernest I say hi. ;)

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Thanks!! I will. Ernest likes chocolate chip cookies. :) hahaha

      • http://randomlychad.com Chad Jones

        Watch out! Zombie Ernest might be after more than just cookies! ;-)

  • http://profiles.google.com/andilit Andrea Cumbo

    Such wisdom here, Jim. I’ve felt envious many times – of the writing, the notoriety, the “ease” with which writers live. But like you, I try to celebrate instead . . .and realize that we all do this the same way, one word at a time.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Thanks Andi! I can’t imagine how much harder it would be if I were not friends with great writers like yourself. It would be so much easier to let jealousy tint every aspect of life.

  • http://deuceology.wordpress.com Larry Carter

    I guess so. I wanted to be Jon Acuff about a yearvand a half ago.

    • http://unknownjim.com/ Jim Woods

      Well, I’ve wanted to be Larry Carter too a couple times. I don’t think either of us can break dance like Jon though, right :) Oh and I have been jealous because you are BFF’s with Jon right? The only picture of me with Jon has like 40 others in the picture too. Weren’t you rocking the side hug even? How can I not want to be like Larry? :)

      • http://deuceology.wordpress.com Larry Carter

        I can’t break dance at all, but yeah, we rocked the sidehug. :)